Excitement, disappointment and generosity
It is human to want 'everything' for Christmas, but unrealistic to get it all. Some help in balancing 'wants' with reality from Dr. Rich O'Neill, psychologist at SUNY Upstate:
>Making a wish list allows a parent to share the excitement of anticipation, as well as sharing how much fun it is to have someone give you something you really want.
>A list also allows a 'reality check'--ask the child to prioritize, says O'Neill, by reminding that 'You know, we don't usually get everything we want.'
>If the top of the list is not going to happen, prepare for the disappointment, before Christmas day. O'Neill says it can be a 'teaching moment'--"You know, we cannot afford---etc."
>Offer alternatuves: this can be another teaching moment. "If you don't get something you really want, you could make some money by --- and buy it for yourself (with the parent maybe offering to make a contribution).
>Coping with disappointment and anger: O'Neill says a parent can empathize--"We all can feel disappointed when it doesn't go our way."
Accepting a child's feelings gives the message, says O'Neill, that love survives even through temporary unhappiness. And, continued love is the greatest gift, remembered long after the wished-for object is forgotten.
